Sorry for the delay in the third post, but really, I have no excuses, I just didn’t feel like writing for sometime. 🙂
Well, as your brain would have been stormed with enormous amount of thoughts after reading the topic of this post, you must be feeling like “OK, seriously, there is something wrong going with the guy writing all this random stuff.”
And to some extent, yes, you are veracious with what you are feeling. But, it must be inapt to say that I am writing all this random stuff. We all look at life from some perspective and I try to portray every single feeling in ones life.
Returning, yes, there is going on something wrong with everyone on this planet which can also be outlined as “the fight inside with oneself”. It is just that everyone acknowledges it at different point of time and in some quirky manner.
Haven’t there been any moments in your life when you knew that what you were planning to do, you are going to do or what you have already done is wrong and you better restrain yourself. The reason to perpetuate may range from self-satisfaction to revenge. At that juncture, you find “another you” standing in front of you, identical to you, just with the exact opposite of what you choose as right or doable. Then, after a lot of struggle you become ascertain of the truth that you are not alone. You have someone within you with whom you have to fight for everything.
I call it “Enemy”, because it knows everything about you, your strengths, your weaknesses and can make you work for him, to attain what is in his interest knowing what positive or ill effect it may have on you. Very similar to hypnotizing and taking control of someone. The only difference is that you know everything that is going on and also all the reasons behind it, but helpless.
Well, we are not talking about the big thoughts here. All this doesn’t have to be related with moral values, or societal pressure, or duties towards anyone, rather we are concentrating on small things, small issues which we ignore like nugatory issues but they are not, they make up the greater part of us, they define us, we build our character by choosing our handlers towards these issues.
I would like to give a small example narrating a small issue in my daily life, which I face everyday and I think many more people like me would be facing the same issue too. (by what I mean people like me, you will get to know later, what type of people 😛 )
It is the morning of that day, on which I plan to go for jogging or exercise. ( I think you got what I meant by people like me 😉 )
I always make up mind and promise myself that I won’t stop myself due to anything. But, the issue occurs when I see myself 5 minutes before waking up for morning exercise, when I either see myself sleeping for more 20 minutes or having my body tuned up. The fight starts, I start counting the pros and cons of me going for it and not going for it. At last, the side which wins is the one which is more comfortable, i.e, me sleeping for next 20 minutes, even when I counted more pros of going and all cons of not going, but still giving more preference to the later. Some people also call this having less will power and more will power , well that is what my point is about. Will power is nothing but the power to fight against the enemy inside which I have been talking about all the time.
I’m not sure but guessing, you would have faced it, when someone close to you asked for a glass of water, or someone asked you to pick them up from somewhere, or someone asked for any form of help or something which may consume your time and energy.
I’m guessing on the basis, because I feel the same all these times when these happen with me. Sometimes, I give excuses, and sometimes, I literally overcome my fight and go for it. And believe me, I have got great result when the scenario is the second one.
There is no specific way to always win against yourself, because sometimes there is no win-win situation, and one has to sacrifice one thing to get another and the fight is to choose the one which is more beneficial or more correct or less incorrect.
The process is ongoing and I must warn, the issues keep on compiling and accumulating in your memories, which in turn make it impossible for one to fight at later stage because one has already lost the battle to be ever won again.
The results can be pretty rough and jarring.
I would like to settle, leaving you with the awesome song by DREAM THEATER.
The ENEMY inside.